


Convention Vacation

by jupiter_james



Series: Burn Down the Sky Universe [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: BDtS universe, Comic Convention, Cosplay, Fluff, Kaidan as Spiderman, M/M, Shepard as Deadpool, Shepard's a nerd, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 09:01:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1738922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jupiter_james/pseuds/jupiter_james
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fluff AU. Shepard and Kaidan cosplay Spideypool at Dragon*Con. This fic uses my AU Shepard and Kaidan from Burn Down the Sky, but you don't need to have read that fic to understand this one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Convention Vacation

"Shepard."

Shepard couldn't stop his grin at the warning tone in Kaidan's voice calling from hotel suite's bedroom. He didn't answer and continued making coffee in the surprisingly spacious kitchenette.

"Shepard, come here now."

_No. Nope, not a chance. No way. Not gonna happen._

"Ianto Goddamn Shepard! Get your ass in here and explain this to me right now!" 

_Don't laugh at him, he'll get the wrong idea. **Snort**. No. Stop it, Shepard. You're a grown man. Deep breath in. Out. If you giggle like a child Kaidan will kick your ass._ His head poked around the edge of the doorframe. "You called?"

Kaidan was standing beside the bed with both of their small suitcases open on top of it. Shepard sucked both lips between his teeth to bite back his smile and any comments that were begging to fly out of his mouth. Kaidan's serious expression grew darker at his partner's look, though that didn't curb Shepard's amusement one bit. "Having fun?" Kaidan said sarcastically. Shepard nodded vigorously. 

Kaidan paused. Crossed his arms. Then he tried a different tactic. He tipped his hip out a little and drawled with a sexy undercurrent, "that's good, baby. That's great." Stepping around the clothes he'd tossed onto the floor, he approached his lover slowly. He slid the tip of his finger along Shepard's jaw and then pulled him down for a long, sensual kiss that had Shepard's toes curling inside his worn tennis shoes before too long. Kaidan pulled back and rested their foreheads together. He was silent for a moment and then murmured with a threatening rumble, "if you _ever_ want to get laid again, you'll tell me why this was the only thing in my suitcase when I clearly remember packing much more meticulously." He shoved Shepard in the chest and held up the red spandex.

Despite the fact that Kaidan was obviously pissed, Shepard couldn't contain the smile anymore. If he died here in this hotel room during Dragon*Con, he'd honestly be happy. "Come _on_ , Kaidan!" he enthused in a rush. "This is one of the biggest sci-fi conventions in the world! It's the one thing I look forward to every year! This is a dream of mine. And you kept saying this was just too nerdy, but seriously. _Everyone_ is gonna be in cosplay! And you have a mask. No one will see your face."

"I'm going to kill you. I am going to fucking kill you."

Shepard took the chance to close the distance between them again, and put his hands on Kaidan's waist. The irritated man tried to pull away, but Shepard held him gently. "Kaidan," he said softly. Pleadingly, "please? I'm a nerd. Such a huge nerd. And this would make me happier than anything in the whole wide world."

Pause. Beat. Deep, suffering, frustrated groan. 

He was gaining ground. "Just one day, okay? No, one afternoon. A few hours. Anything, I don't care. I'm just... I'm dying to see you in this. And we can go down to the floor and cut up and be idiots. It's liberating and you might have a lot of fun."

Another long groan in response.

"I love you so much. If you do this one thing out of love and devotion for me, I swear to _God_ I'll never ask for anything like this ever again."

Kaidan turned with the spandex. "Jury's still out with my feelings for you right now." But he still retreated to the bathroom with the costume and Shepard could hardly contain himself. A vibration of excitement made him bounce up on the balls of his feet. He quickly stripped himself of his own normal clothing. But he was careful putting his own cosplay on. It had taken him months to put together when Kaidan wasn't looking. There had been some near misses, but he'd gotten it done. Part of him felt bad for tricking Kaidan, but he honestly didn't believe that his dark-haired lover was really as put out as he pretended. Months before when Shepard was planning his own costume, Kaidan had wistfully mentioned that he missed dressing up for Halloween and cutting up. And he'd been quite impressed with a good deal of the cosplay photos he'd looked at from Shepard's attempts in years past. Sure, it wasn't for everyone, but Kaidan was built for this. Made for this. He'd be so perfect, and if it was only this one time for the rest of their lives, Shepard would take it and be grateful. And he was sure that Kaidan was complying because he knew it, too.

"Hey, since you're being such a good sport, I'll give you a hundred dollars of my spending money that I was going to use in the Dealer's Room."

"Good. I'll use it to buy supplies to make a Voodoo doll of you," came the response.

Shepard laughed outright this time. "You're the best boyfriend in the world."

"And don't I know it. Okay... I'm coming out, and if you laugh, _I_ swear to God you'll be flying home by yourself with a black eye."

"Noted."

The bathroom door creaked open and Shepard held his breath. Slowly, so, so slowly, Kaidan appeared in increments from behind the door. He hadn't put on the mask yet, and his cheeks were slightly flushed, shoulders slumped as he stepped fully inside the room. "I look like an idiot."

Shepard's gaze swept over the clinging spandex and the flex of Kaidan's muscles as he shifted his weight. His breath left in a rush.

Kaidan's brows knit together and his voice was pained as he said, "say something. This was your big idea."

Shepard lunged across the room and crushed their lips together, overwhelmed. The tears that pricked his eyes surprised him as he blinked them away rapidly. Honestly, if Kaidan had said no outright, Shepard would have given him his street clothes back. They were hidden under the bed. Kaidan loved him. Really, really loved him. "I knew you'd be an amazing Spiderman. Excuse the pun," he murmured, going for another deep kiss, which Kaidan sagged into. 

When they pulled apart, a small, embarrassed, but pleased smile was starting to form on the corners of Kaidan's mouth. "Well... he was a hero as a kid." He gave Shepard a once over and his smile spread. "How come I couldn't be Deadpool, though? Why you?"

Shepard chuckled and spread his arms. "Eh, you know. I've got more scars. You look incredible. Thank you, K. I'm serious. I'm beside myself right now. You probably think it's dumb, but I've always dreamed of doing this with a lover."

Kaidan shook his head and gathered the prop belt, looping it around Shepard's waist and fastening it before moving on to the wrist straps and then the weapon straps. Shepard willingly let himself get suited up. "It's not _that_ bad," Kaidan admitted. "Sharing hobbies is important from time to time. I'm not such a huge nerd as you, but I'm excited about this con, too." He finished his work and his eyes met Shepard's again. "But you owe me about a dozen favors."

Shepard brushed him with a quick, light kiss. "Anything you want. I mean it." He pulled on his mask. "Ready to go?"

With a short laugh, Kaidan tucked himself into his own mask. "Yeah. Something tells me we're gonna be a huge hit."

Shepard fisted his hand and held it out. "Spideypool."

Kaidan fist bumped him. "Don't nerd yourself to death."

***

By the end of the first day, Kaidan had missed all of the panels he'd been planning to attend and his feet were already aching. But somehow it was worth it. Shepard was right about the cosplay. It _was_ pretty liberating after awhile. And his green-eyed lover was every bit the enthusiastic Deadpool he was meant to be. He photobombed every chance he got, bounced around the convention hotels with unbridled excitement and posed for pictures nearly every ten steps, dragging Kaidan along. Neither of them made it far before cameras crowded them. The mood and energy had a life to it here that even infected Kaidan more than he thought it would. He grinned under his mask and loosened up, especially as kids approached him from every side to tell him Spiderman was their hero. He posed with more than a dozen mini-Spidermen and got a thousand thanks from their grateful and indulgent parents. Eventually, Kaidan was to the point of striking his best Spiderman poses for every camera. That made Shepard fall in love more than he thought was even possible.

But it was time for a rest as the sun set over Atlanta. They muscled their way to the hotel bar for drinks in the gathering evening swarm. Kaidan collapsed onto a bar stool in the noisy restaurant, taking off his mask and ordering loaded nachos and two beers as Shepard joined him, peeling off his mask. Kaidan couldn't help grinning at his lover. The man was flushed and sweating a little, hair matted, but he'd never looked so happy before. He'd taken hundreds of his own pictures, collected autographs from a few of his favorite actors, and was planning a run through the Dealer's Room before it closed for the night. "Pace yourself," Kaidan advised, sliding one of the beers over. "It's only Thursday."

Shepard downed half of the cold beer in one long gulp. "Whatever," he said. "I'll be on an adrenaline rush the whole weekend. I won't crash until Monday on the flight home."

Kaidan chuckled as the nachos arrived. He picked a loaded one off the top and offered it to Shepard, who bit into it gratefully, his eyes shining with youthful excitement. More cameras flashed around them. "We're gonna be all over the internet, aren't we?"

Shepard stuffed another chip into his mouth with a shrug. "Probably. Peter Parker and Wade Wilson feeding each other? Internet fame is ours."

Kaidan laughed, infected further by Shepard's mood and a bit of the beer, considering he hadn't eaten since breakfast. He rested his elbows on the bar, leaning to the side to press a kiss against Shepard's damp temple; his favorite spot. "I'm starting to not care. Hey," his lips brushed the shell of Shepard's ear, "why don't we leave the Dealer's Room for another day and go have some fun back in the room? I'm feeling a little tense from being on my feet all day." His fingers trailed down Shepard's spine, making him shiver. "Need something to help me unwind."

Shepard leaned closer, and offered him the nacho he had almost dropped while drinking in Kaidan's sexy offer. "Like I said; anything you want."

Kaidan bit into the chip and, good lord, if that wasn't the hottest thing Shepard had ever seen. The man was something else. Tousled curly hair, parts of it matted from the mask, skin slightly damp and shiny with sweat, and those full lips turned up into a smile full of promise. He looked like they'd already been rolling around in bed.

"Wanna get these nachos to go? There's a fridge in our room."

"Let's do that," Kaidan answered almost too low for Shepard to hear, squeezing his thigh.

Food transferred to a Styrofoam container and bill paid, Shepard jumped from his stool and yanked Kaidan firmly towards the elevators, keeping him as close as possible among the riffraff. His impatience got to him as the stood in line, tapping his foot in agitation at the long wait. Finally, he shouted over the din, "can Spideypool please get in next! We need to fuck, like, yesterday!"

Kaidan attempted to protest his rudeness, but before he could even open his mouth, everyone around them whooped and cheered, hands planting themselves on Kaidan and Shepard's shoulders, shoving them to the front of the line. When the doors opened and the elevators cleared of people arriving at the main floor, Shepard tugged Kaidan inside into the last possible amount of space left.

"Make out!" someone yelled to another chorus of catcalls.

 _Fuck it,_ Kaidan thought. As the doors closed, he dragged Shepard to him and planted a wet kiss right on his lips while his lover flipped off the con-goers in perfect Deadpool style. Internet famous, indeed.

But none of that mattered as they stumbled back into the room, reaching behind each other's backs to unzip the spandex and get their hands on naked skin.

"Gross," Kaidan gasped between kisses as his fingers found the sticky, sweaty mess they'd become. "Shower. You stink."

Shepard complied eagerly, guiding them both to the bathroom and grabbing blindly for the taps, tripping into the shower before the water had even gotten hot. Goosebumps crawled over Kaidan's skin, but Shepard chased them with his mouth until the water warmed, and Kaidan backed Shepard against the wall, working his hand between them and stroking the length of Shepard's dick with a long stroke, foreplay be damned.

"God, fuck, yes," Shepard gasped, his adrenaline clearly still with him full force as he clenched his thighs and thrust into Kaidan's callused hand. One hand snaked around to squeeze a handful of Kaidan's ass before his other hand palmed Kaidan's length, bringing them together at a desperate pace.

"Won't last long," Shepard warned, biting at Kaidan's neck as his forehead fell to his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Figured," Kaidan grunted with a grin. His lips found Shepard's ear, tracing the curve with is tongue. "It's fine," he drawled. "You can come, Ianto. All over me."

A full body tremble rippled through Shepard and he groaned, the sound echoing against the tiles as he pressed their bodies together more tightly. A handful of quick strokes later and he was coming between them with a curse and moan. Kaidan smiled indulgently, and Shepard immediately dropped to his knees, wasting no time in his afterglow to share it with his dark-haired dream man. The flat of his tongue ran up the length of Kaidan's dick, and then he was gliding his lips over the head and down a couple of inches. He hadn't done this sort of thing in years, and though enthusiastic to perform, was slightly concerned his gag reflex might ruin the moment. Kaidan wasn't impossibly long, but he was thick. However, the sound that tore from Kaidan's mouth as his trembling hands fisted into Shepard's hair, trying not to jerk his hips forward, gave Shepard all the encouragement he needed to keep trying. He went as deep as he could before his throat closed in protest, but he made up for it by wrapping his hand around the base of Kaidan's shaft, pumping him with short strokes as his mouth and tongue worked the sensitive tip.

He was slightly shocked when Kaidan very suddenly cried out and doubled over, coming hard down Shepard's throat. Shepard swallowed instinctively and pulled back so that he could brace Kaidan's hips to keep him on his feet. Blunt nails dug into his shoulders and Kaidan offered up a litany of whispered curses with his eyes tightly shut.

After letting him recover for a moment, Shepard leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Kaidan's abs. "You okay?"

Kaidan's eyes cracked open and he smiled down at his lover with a shy smile. "Yeah. It's just... no one's ever done that to me before, so I... huh. Didn't know what I was missing. Wasn't ready for it."

Shepard climbed carefully to his feet and crowded Kaidan back against the tiles. "That was your first blow job?"

Kaidan shoved him lightly and turned to grab the soap, handing Shepard the shampoo. "Yeah." He turned his chin down so that Shepard couldn't see just how embarrassed he was to admit to his unimaginative former sex life, but when he glanced back up, Shepard was scrubbing his hair and grinning. "What?"

"Nothing. I'm glad. And if you liked it, I can promise that won't be the last time."

Kaidan smiled and traded places with Shepard so that he could rinse off. When the taller man turned to face the spray of water, Kaidan came up behind him, pressing their bodies together and kissing the back of Shepard's neck. "I loved it," he said. "Hope you're up for giving me some lessons so I can return the favor."

Shepard laughed with delight. "I think I can handle that." He shut off the water and grabbed them both towels from the rack. "But for now, after all that physical activity, I can hear those nachos calling my name."

***

The rest of the weekend passed in anonymity for Kaidan. Shepard returned his clothes and, true to his word, let him enjoy himself at his own pace. Shepard himself ditched his own costume Friday night in order to enjoy the rest of the weekend without dodging cameras endlessly. And finally, Monday morning, suitcases loaded down, they stepped out of their cab into the bright, hot sunshine at the airport. Kaidan was still grinning about their adventure, but Shepard looked about the keel over.

"You really _did_ crash hard, didn't you?" Kaidan mused with a deep chuckle.

"Just let me sleep for two more days and I'll be fine," Shepard answered, yawning and hauling his load to the curbside check in.

Kaidan held his fist out just like Shepard had done days before. "Best vacation ever?"

Shepard fist bumped him. "Didn't nerd myself to death, so yeah. Best weekend ever. Thank you Kaidan."

Kaidan bumped their shoulders and kissed his boyfriend's temple. "Any time. Just no more couple's cosplay. Ever."

"Deal. Let's go home."


End file.
